


Synesthesia

by Chrononautical



Category: The Librarians (TV 2014)
Genre: F/M, Falling In Love, Math Kink, Mathematics, Neurodiversity, Synesthesia, but only sort of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-12
Updated: 2016-12-12
Packaged: 2018-09-08 05:32:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,081
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8832337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chrononautical/pseuds/Chrononautical
Summary: Cassandra can feel Ezekiel's voice.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Auditory-tactile is a real form of synesthesia. Though we usually only see Cassandra's visual hallucinations, she does tell Flynn that she has all five senses involved. In other words: hey, it could happen.

_syn·es·the·sia_  
ˌsinəsˈTHēZHə/  
noun PHYSIOLOGY PSYCHOLOGY  
_the production of a sense impression relating to one sense or part of the body by stimulation of another sense or part of the body._

Cassandra had never been able to explain it, but sometimes her reaction to certain sensory inputs changed. She wasn't a computer. Just because there was a physiological cause for her condition, the brain grape of a tumor, didn't mean there wasn't a psychological component to the symptoms. 

When looking at a problem, sometimes she would smell breakfast food. Only, if the problem was complex, it would always be that same breakfast, when she was twelve and everything changed. 

But everything always changed. As a librarian, sometimes she went months without smelling that breakfast. When she met him, Jenkins’s cologne sounded like an opera, impossibly loud, lyrics in some incomprehensible language. He still wore the same cologne. He'd probably worn it for a century. However, once she got to know him, it didn't smell loud to Cassandra. It was still musical, but now she heard a Bach chorale for the harpsichord. Complicated, but not intrusive. Familiar. Mathematical. Comforting. 

It was the same when she felt Ezekiel’s voice. At first, he’d poked her with his words. Just an incessant little tap whenever he spoke. Grating, but that hadn’t really been his fault. Not entirely. Slowly, as she got to know him, it started to feel different. His voice slid along her skin like a gentle caress. Speeches that had once felt like jabs, when he was particularly loud or conceited, now were more like a strong grip. Softer words, his silly stories and cheerful compliments, felt even better. The change made listening to him exceptionally pleasant, which in turn made her more tolerant of his stories, at least when they weren’t totally annoying. Naturally, he was thrilled to have an audience. 

“So by optimizing the executive function of the decision variables, I was able to bypass the cryptography entirely. Not that I couldn’t have cracked it. It was based on a Mersenne prime. I mean, come on.” 

The word Mersenne traced across her abdomen warmly, an almost electric stroke. 

“You’ve studied the Mersenne primes, yeah?”

Shivering against the firm pressure of the repetition, she nodded. 

“And do you have a favorite Mersenne prime?”

Swallowing hard, she tried to play it casual. “Oh, you know, probably 2,147,483,647.”

“Because of your fondness for Euler! I should have guessed. Me, I’m a fan of all the Mersenne numbers, but I have to give a shout out to GIMPS, you know, the Great Internet Mersenne Prime Search. Now, I know what you’re going to say, bigger is not always better, but you have to admit it’s an awesome project. Distributed computing is so much fun, and no one would have proven the existence of good old two to the 74,207,281 minus one without it.”

She had to stop this. Numbers were taking it too far. Heat flamed across her skin, focusing as real, physical pleasure that threatened to overwhelm her. It was wrong. She was taking advantage of him. She just needed him to say Euler one more time, and then she’d end the conversation. No! No, she would not allow her confused sensibilities to make a mockery of a genuine friendship. 

“So listen.” Ezekiel leaned forward, looking at her through his eyelashes in a way that she would have called shy in any other person on the planet. “What do you say we continue this conversation over dinner? Not pizza! Somewhere nice. Not New York, not just expensive, actually nice. A proper Italian place in Venice? Or I know a great sushi joint in Kyoto? Paris! Is that cliche? That’s a little cliche for a first date. But anywhere you want. Anywhere at all. And I won’t steal anything or recount my brilliant exploits too much, because I know that you aren’t impressed by that kind of thing.”

“A date?” Cassandra did not squeak. As an adult woman and a librarian, she would never do anything as undignified as squeaking. 

Ezekiel stretched out one finger to trace the back of her hand gently. “I’ll only talk about programming and math.” He swallowed before giving her one of his trademark grins. It was a little smaller than usual, a little softer, not quite as cocky. “I’ve, uh, noticed that you like it when I talk about math.”

He wasn’t wrong, but it was a bad idea for so many reasons. One, they had to be able to work together. Two, she was dying and it would be cruel to form attachments to people she would leave behind. Three, his hands were even warmer than his words and actually touching him would probably drive her insane. Four, if she just threw him down on the nearest horizontal surface and rode him until neither of them could remember basic algebra, he’d think she was a slut and lose interest. Four wasn’t a prime number. Four wasn’t a reason not to go on a date. Fuzzy logic. Unreliable.

“Kyoto,” she said. “I like sushi. You can tell me your thoughts on infinitesimal calculus.”

That got her the full wattage Ezekiel Jones smile, like the flash of a paparazzi camera on shining, perfect pearls. “You think you can trip me up? Oh no, no, I come prepared, my dear.” Flipping his phone out of his pocket, he dialed up the backdoor using his personal app. “I’ve read the complete works of Leonhard Euler in preparation for this date. Go ahead, ask me anything.”

That was touching. Literally as well as figuratively. His accented vowels on that name made her shiver and lean into the hand he placed at the small of her back, guiding her out into the brightly lit streets of the Japanese nightlife. In fact, he was so sweet that she briefly considered telling him that it was his voice, not necessarily his words, that made her feel so much. She almost told Ezekiel Jones that she would happily listen to him talk about anything in the world. She really did have it bad. 

“Did you really have to study to ask me on a date?” Trying for coy, Cassandra trusted in her oversized eyes to at least make her appear innocent. 

“What? No! I’m Ezekiel Jones. I speed read one book.” 

“Because you like me,” she teased cheerfully. 

“Yeah,” he said seriously. “I do.” 

Three syllables, but they felt ecstatic.


End file.
